My teenage girls asked me yesterday “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” It’s usually the case when some occasion comes around. My usual answer is something to the effect of “I just want you to enjoy each day, do what you love to do, be truthful, productive and stay out of trouble.” Then they say, “We know, but what do you want?” LOL (commonly interpreted as Laugh Out Loud, but I like to think of it as Lots Of Love)
And today, as I think of my mother, I simply wish her to be healthy and joyful each day. But mothers typically worry all her life about her children no matter how grown they are. So to help my mother let go of her worries, as well as not be a burden to my own children, the greatest gift I believe I can give to them and everyone I love is
- to start by taking care of myself and live each moment the best I know how in that moment and
- to stop worrying. One day I realized that “worry” comes from fear that something bad may happen — that’s the last thing I want for my kids or anyone I care for. Instead, it is so much more productive and loving to trust and trust in them that all is well.
There is so much logic and wisdom to the basic airline safety procedure that we are reminded each time we board a plane and take off on a journey. It is a perfect metaphor for life. “When the oxygen masks drop, secure your mask BEFORE helping others.” And “others” mean EVERYONE else other than you without exception, including your infant child or elderly parent. We can give so much more in many ways when we are fulfilled, happy, healthy and functional.
Happy Mother’s Day with much love and gratitude to all the mothers physically here on earth today and those in spirit.
On Sunday October 9th, my husband and I spent the afternoon with no agenda. Like many of us in this modern day we are constantly on the go – shuttling kids to where ever they need to be for their activities, running errands that we couldn’t get to during the week or simply catching up on work. That day, we simply made a conscious decision to clear our schedules and spend the day together – no kids and no work stuff. We made no particular plans. It was a gorgeous Southern California day so we simply hopped in our car and started to drive. In just a short drive, we ended up in Seal Beach. As we approached the pier, we saw many kites of different colors and shapes adorning the sky. So we decided to check out the festivities. Turns out that they were having the 15th Annual Japan America Kite Festival and this year, they were supporting the Tsunami Relief Fund for Japan. I was glad to see that the effort to support the people in Japan recover from the disaster is still going strong after 7 months.
As I watched all the beautiful kites being flown in the sky, the thought of “surrender” came to my mind. I often think about “how do I truly surrender and just allow the greater Source (God, Universe, Divine – how ever you want to refer to the greater energy encompassing us all) to help us?” I hear many people say how we just have to surrender, but I don’t recall anyone giving any guidance that helped me understand how to surrender. I recognize that trying to figure out the ‘how’ keeps me in my logical mind. I at least know that I somehow needed to allow my body to feel and experience it. But my logical mind says “how do I know when I’m feeling and experiencing it?” LOL. So I went back to my basics and applied the tools and technique that I use in my coaching practice. As I did that, I remembered my childhood experience when I taught myself to swim.
To make a long story short, after having much difficulty in learning how to swim despite taking few swimming lessons and feeling tired of being stuck in the shallow kiddy pool instead of being able to play with my friends in the deeper big kids pool, I decided that I am going to swim. As I was in a shallow pool where I can have my head above the water when I stood, I decided that it doesn’t matter that I sunk to the bottom. I am not going to drown; I am safe. I trusted that I’m going to be just fine no matter what and just let go. As a kid, I had to let go of the fear of looking stupid, along with the fear of drowning. I just started to go through the motion of what I knew of swimming – got my body horizontal and started to move my arms and legs the best I knew how. At first, I was well below the surface and maybe even at the bottom of the pool. But before I knew, I was floating and moving along the surface. I was swimming!!
Remembering this experience allowed me to recognize what it feels like to surrender. It allowed my whole body to remember the experience. As my body remembered this experience, it gave my mind a reference to embrace what it means to allow and surrender and to support my being to go there when I need to.
- First, make the decision to take action.
- Be present to overcome any fear that may stop you from taking the inspired action. (If you need help in learning about ‘Being Present and Overcoming Fear, as a start, I invite you to download my free gift to you from this page “Shifting into Magnificence 5 Steps to Building the Foundation for a Prosperous Life”)
- Release attachment to outcome.
- Trust that you are always supported by the greater Source
I realize that ultimately, fear stems from survival in this physical world. This is another topic I shall blog my perspective on in the future.
If you’ve been pondering with what it feels like to allow and surrender, see if you can recall a time when you had to “just go for it” and you were successful with it. And tap into that experience.
If you’d like to learn the tools and techniques to help you navigate through your life and taking your business to the next level with ease and harmony, contact me for your complimentary session to explore the greater opportunity for you.
With love & light,
MBA, Certified LSSBB
Integrative Business & Personal Coach
September 28, 2011
8:00 AM – at Huntington Beach, CA
After dropping my kids at school, I decided to come to the beach for some time outside my office and in nature. It’s a gray, drizzly morning, but the parking area is full. There are many surfers lined up on the water on their boards waiting to catch a wave. The waves almost seem flat, but they are probably about 3 feet high at the moment. There are different varieties of birds on the beach, busily looking for their breakfast. I wish I had my camera to zoom in and capture some of these cute little birds without scaring them off; my phone camera doesn’t zoom in and can’t capture the little chicks. I came here this morning to refresh my energy by connecting with nature, quiet my mind and tap into some guidance. As I simply sit on the sand, I am being amused by these cute little birds that are just “BEing”, minding their own business. I feel gratitude for this space and time…right this moment to take in the gifts of nature. As I say this, I acknowledge that my mind is quiet…simply enjoying the experience.
I always strive to be Present as much as possible, in partnership with my mind as I shift between my heart and mind. Being present = being in my heart. When I’m thinking, I’m in my mind and no longer in my heart, no longer present. To flow and navigate in our current world in harmony, it is important to allow our hearts to lead in partnership with our minds. I listen to my body and feeling to gauge the balance. When I feel off or don’t feel good, my heart and mind is not in alignment. The mind is very intelligent and can self monitor itself. But sometimes it takes over the control and becomes stubborn about stepping aside. The mind then becomes like an overbearing parent, over protecting the kids and becoming more of a barrier than nurturing their growth. The mind (or the ego; I tend to use these terms interchangeably) means well and functions to protect us from harm. But is it best for the kids to lock them up in their rooms from the parents fear that they “might” skin their knees walking out the door? The moment we say “I know BUT…” it’s a clear indication that the mind needs to be cleared and hushed to shift the control over back to the heart. It’s like saying “I know it’s good for the kids to play outside and enjoy the sun BUT…” Bottom line, “knowing” it and not going along with it means you really don’t know it. It’s just like any addiction – I know I shouldn’t be drinking BUT… or I know I shouldn’t be smoking BUT… Anything that follows “I know BUT…” is just an excuse and its time to move the domineering mind aside for it’s own good. So when I catch myself saying “I know…”
- I do my best to be conscientious and stop right there. “I know” (period).
- Embrace my awareness and acknowledge any challenge there may be.
- Step into taking inspired action toward shifting and connecting back into my heart.
Often, I have to give myself a few slow, deep breaths to quiet and clear my mind to help myself shift toward stepping beyond the challenge. And often, it’s not an instantaneous thing. I am first to admit that it’s easier said than done. However, like anything, we have to start somewhere and right NOW is as good as any time, even if it’s a tiny first step. Just take one step at a time, practice becoming aware and build a new habit toward transforming our lives.
If you feel you need support in over coming your challenges, contact me for a complimentary session to explore how you can shift toward habits that help you live a much more prosperous life BEing You!
With love & light,
MBA, Certified LSSBB
Integrative Business & Personal Coach